raqueljoy ([info]raqueljoy) wrote,
@ 2007-03-20 12:19:00
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You guys, thank you SO much for your prayers and thoughts. I know you are really praying and thinking of me, and not just saying it.

I am sad for me, but not for my grandpa. How fun could it have been to sit and stare at the wall, not even be sure what you are seeing? Wearing a diaper, asking everyone to repeat everything they say 45 times.

I never heard my grandfather say "I love you". In reflection, I see that he did it alot more in action. Something that is still hard for me to understand. He was harder on my uncles than he was on my mom; he told my mom and I when he was 80 that God had appeared to him and told him he was going to give him a little more time. "Just a little more time, Art, a little more time."

Apparently a little more time was 16 years. I have never doubted that it was God's voice that my grandpa heard...he was NEVER an emotional person, and that day he told us that, he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. 

I was always curious what "a little more time" was to God.

I just plowed through a whole package of Hershey's marshmallow eggs. Asher is lying on my lap and I have to pack, pack everyone (but Scott). I wonder if my mom and dad will bring my grandma back to live with them for awhile now that my grandpa is gone. It was really really neat that my brothers got to be there and see grandpa while he was still alive. I guess it was pretty emotional when they said goodbye. He wanted hugs. He has NEVER been a hugger. He put his arm up while they were visiting, and they could never understand what he wanted, until it finally dawned on them that he was wanting hugs. That was his way of asking.

He got scared one day and his friend Morris came in with a Bible and read Him passages assuring him of his salvation.

This is the first death of a family member I have experienced. Friends, yes, family members, no.

It is strange. I don't know how to feel.

On a completely unrelated and somewhat humorous note, bikinis on babies and little girls creep me out. How is it that I can't find a one-piece for my 2 year old at the store?

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[info]mandella0021
2007-03-20 05:43 pm UTC (link)
so sorry to hear of your loss. *hugs* and old navy has adorable one piece suits-i also got mairi a tankini, which is basically the same coverage as a one piece. i admit that she has a bikini LOL I think i just like to live vicariously through her, hehehe :D

JEN

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Swim Suite
(Anonymous)
2007-03-20 10:26 pm UTC (link)
About the swim thing: I buy one-piece swimsuites for my kids - the kind with a zipper up the front and short sleeves. That way I only have to put sunscreen on their arms and legs. They look like little surfer dudes!
Try this link, it might work:
http://www.llbean.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?page=wave-bodysuit&categoryId=45507&storeId=1&catalogId=1&langId=-1&parentCategory=6148&cat4=6144&shop_method=pp&feat=6148-tn

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From Joy
(Anonymous)
2007-03-20 10:27 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, i forgot to sign my name on the last post - sorry!
And I don't think my link worked.
Joy

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(Anonymous)
2007-03-20 11:01 pm UTC (link)
Anything and everything you feel right now is valid. It is probably very weird for you.
I'm not surprised you can't find a one piece for Lucy. I can't even find a one piece for myself, and it just pisses me off. Tankinis...it's like, why don't you just make a frickin one piece??? I hate that I can't find a swimsuit. Even now, early in the season, all the one pieces are ugly as crap or they have those stupid rings in the middle. Seriously.
Maybe I should go back to school and become a swimsuit designer. This is not the first time I've given fashion school a thought. Haha that's funny!
RQ

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[info]tijmetje
2007-03-21 10:31 am UTC (link)
Your post made me want to cry. Not really with sobbing sadness, though. Sad, but with a lot of, for lack of a better word, happy in it. It seems so beautiful.

They make bikinis for babies now? I think around here they wither wear one-pieces (pool/beach) or nothing (beach, at least where we went) until they're about a year and a half, two years old.

Do babies even want to wear things like that? My friend told me her niece always took of her swimming clothes when she was very young.

Bikinis look weird on young girls who have no breasts yet. When I was younger I never bothered with the top bit, just the bottom (and a very brown back. I tan so easily). At the beach, at least. I had a one-piece for the pool.
Actually, I think the thing my mum bought me only had a bottom. It was definitely for girls, though. Pink and frilly. Sort of.

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[info]praizeleeder222
2007-03-21 02:13 pm UTC (link)
When my Grampa passed, I wasn't able to be there. I was so upset over that, and I was 20!! I kept that in for a long time, until my friend's had passed on, and the family asked me to sing 'In the Garden'. It was the same song I had recorded to sing at my Grampa's funeral. I didn't sing it at the church, I sang at the gravesite. I got all the way through it with out crying. I went off to be alone, i wasn't part of the family, so I separated myself. Then this HUGE wind came blowing across the field, and I heard a voice say "You can let go now." I cried and cried. It is so cool how God works, ya know?
I'm glad you will have good memories, hang on to them!

As for the bikini thing, I just hated that when my Rachel was small! They have nothing at that age to hold them in place!! Tankinis are definatly
cool. She hates one-pieces now, she says the ride up LOL! but she is very good at picking out modest looking ones!! I thanks God for that! She hates 'hootchie-mama' stuff! yay!

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[info]cgl5f
2007-03-21 05:13 pm UTC (link)
(((((hugs))))) I am sorry about your grandpa. However you feel, is how you should feel. It is confusing when an old person dies -- you do feel sad but also there is not the tragic aspect of losing someone young. When my grandparents died, and also when my dh's grandmother died, i did feel a sense of loss but felt too, that we all have to go and you can't ask for more than having a long, full life.

Re swimsuits: Garnet hill has some cute ones but they are too expensive. Land's end usually has something reasonable. I have not really looked yet this year, Chloe has a suit in size 3T that someone gave us, so it *should* still work but in fact she hates it. I usually end up just letting her run around in a swim diaper. I totally don't get the bikini thing for little girls, either. Yuck.

Mind you it is a very difficult task to find a decent one-piece for mama at the store, as well. Sigh...

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(Anonymous)
2007-03-22 03:47 pm UTC (link)
Hugs Rach.

MB

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